Rule # -7: Have Mercy

In high school, there are mercy rules for games like these. Mercy rules to keep games in check. They attempt to maintain any dignity that remains for the losing squad. Coaches take out their star players. Some choose not to go for the extra point. Others lack the sportsmanship or compassion to stop pushing to score. But just like there’s no crying in baseball, there’s no mercy in pro sports, especially the NFL. No one is there to give the archaic Kerry Collins the “you’ll get ‘em next time, slugger” pat on the back. And there are surely no moms running over more heating pads and hot cocoa to the sidelines. There was no sympathy for the Titans in Sunday’s newest Boston massacre installment, a 59-0 loss. A winless team continued to struggle in quite unwelcoming weather conditions.  So the burning question remains, why should the fans and press praise the Pats as if they actually had defeated the Giants in 2008?

Titans coach Jeff Fisher and quarterback Kerry Collins had little to say about the unfamiliar territory they faced in over three decades combined in the NFL

“I haven’t been a part of a game like this in the pros,” Collins said.

Fisher, who has been with the team for 15 years, said, “Career-wise, I have never been through anything like this before. I am very disappointed obviously and embarrassed to say the least.”

Yet, it was Tennessee linebacker Keith Bulluck who gave Sunday’s game an even wider time prospective.

“I have been playing this sport since I was eight,” Bulluck said, “and never in any sport have I experienced anything like this.”

            “Shellacking,” “blowout,” “thrashing,” and “routing” all littered the papers, and Sportscenter analysis, to describe the woeful happenings at Sunday’s pre-winter wonderland. But what continues to get disregarded is the Patriots did what they were expected to; a fact that seems to elude fans’ memories after just one loss. Repeat after me: The Patriots are a solid team. With only two loses, one in overtime, the Pats did not need much to bounce back against Tennessee. Excluding foreign weather conditions, the Gators could have pounced all over the lackluster Titans. So how proud can the Patriots be of defeating a team with more dropped passes than a dive bar and less passing yards than a peewee league scrimmage? Tom Brady had only two more passing yards in this week’s win than in his one-point victory over the Bills in week one. To have 41-year-old Junior Seau refer to the game as “my training camp” does not make for a game to go down in the annals of sports.

Yes, Brady finally looked to be more of the quarterback New England once worshiped. And yes, he showed improvement, finding Wes Welker and Randy Moss downfield as planned, due mostly to a Titan’s secondary with more holes than Augusta. And yes, fantasy footballers got two or three weeks of points faster than the snow fell in Foxboro. But if fans did not think their franchise team could capitalize on six fumbles and NEGATIVE seven passing yards, then maybe they do have a reason to fret. As in other big market cities, criticism is rampant, but quickly quieted with a big win. Fans forgot the cursing, pouting, and questions last week’s game left them with.

            Luckily Patriots coach Bill Belichick used his offense’s nearly five dozen-point lead to play a little in-game Madden, rearranging his roster because he could. While Tom Brady tried to catch snowflakes on his tongue during the fourth quarter, Adalius Thomas did not get to share in such enjoyment on the bench. After openly discussing (openly in Belichick terms that is) Thomas’ role, or lack there of, on the team, Belichick benched him on Sunday opting to put in “players we thought would have a bigger role in the game.” Playing winless teams makes coaching decisions to deem $35 million players inactive less outrageous, and less questioned for all involved. This Sunday’s game will allow for much of the same, although the location for this away game will not be so regular.

            The 4-2 Patriots will play 0-6 Tampa Bay Buccaneers at “home” at Wembley Stadium in London, bringing a new type of football to the other side of the pond. But after the Pats ruthless trampling of the Titans, rookie Buccaneers head coach Raheem Morris has little hope for getting cut any breaks.

“Bill Belichick is not going to take it easy on us,” Morris said. “He just played and 0 and whatever team, and the score was 59-0. Now he’s going to play another one. I’m sure Bill Belichick is licking his chops.”

It seems Pats’ fans will get a chance to take their gloating international this weekend. They’ll be able to keep their criticism dormant for at least another two weeks when they play a team that has actually won a game this season. Until then, all the Pats’ opponents can ask for is mercy. Morris and his Bucs are hoping that word translates into British jargon this Sunday.