27 times wiser.

Here is a recap of 27 things I learned throughout the Yankees 27th Championship season.

27.  Steroids aren't just for A-rod. Always wear sunscreen to spring training because you can and will get sun poisoning in March, your eye will swell shut, and you will be forced to take steroids.

26.  Nick Swisher makes you want to smile.

25.  The Yankees middle relief does not.

24. Unless Nick Swisher is the Yankees middle relief.

23. When there is a two and a half hour rain delay, you should not be judged for reading a book in your $100 seats.

22. Joba isn't ready.

21. Nathan's french fries are 1,200 calories. Thanks for that new law NYC, I feel so informed.

20.  Mark Texiera needs some time to heat up his bat.

19. His glove work is always steaming though.

18. Walk-offs are best topped with whipped cream.

17. Being so close to a ballpark you can hear the cheers from your room before the action happens on the TV ruins any hope of the opposing team's fans...Shout out to Mike Lowell for all those grand slams every time I banked on a double play ball.

16. Never trust a Red Sox fan near wet cement. 

15. The runt of the Molinas should take off-season brotherly batting lessons.

14. Andy Pettitte's still got it. And he's never cheated on his wife, beat that Roger.

13. Kate Hudson better start fitting pinstripes into her wardrobe.

12. Derek Jeter is not meant to win the AL MVP.

11. With a ring-filled hand, no one cares.

 

10.  Starting pitching wins championships.

9. C.C. Sabathia=starting pitching.

8. Mo's cutter is still more effective than most methods of birth control.

7. Bob Sheppard. respect. 

6. The short porch in right just got shorter. Mother Nature is a Yankees fan.

5. It's much easier to love a boss who is comparable to the Wizard of Oz. 

4. Engineers over-manage. Looks like learning to use your bullpen wasn't on the syllabus at Northwestern. 

3. Ghosts have a good sense of direction. They managed to cross the street just fine.

2. Jay-Z is a better spokesman than Nike. As he told all the haters when he made his comeback on the the Black Album, Then how do you explain? I'm ten years removed still the vibe is in my veins. Although I'm not so sure he made the Yankee cap more famous than a Yankee can.

1. And the throwback SAT analogy to top off #27 and what it means for the future: 

1998 is to 2009 as 1918 is to 2007.